LDSSinglesFUN.com – FUN events/activities for LDS Singles!

Lori Hilliard book was just recently recognized by this national news website, and is an incredible little book for children of singles who have dealt with divorce.

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Brothers and sisters, I am delighted to be with you on this special occasion. I am sorry that Sister Nelson has a cold and a cough that has kept her at home. I am overwhelmed by this large congregation of young adults. Many more are gathered throughout North America, Central America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, and the isles of the sea. I pray for the Spirit of the Lord to be with us. Since these proceedings are being translated into 28 languages, we also pray for our translators.

To each young adult I bring greetings and love from President Gordon B. Hinckley, President Thomas S. Monson, President James E. Faust, and my Brethren of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. We thank you for your faith, your devotion, and your desire to serve the Lord. We love each one of you.

I would like you to stop taking notes, just for a moment, and do some personal soul-searching. Tonight you are eager and young. Most of you are students with great ambitions for the future. Now I want you to think. I want you to think about yourself, not as you are, but as you may become—50 years from now. Through your imaginary time tunnel, look at yourself as you will be then. Your broad minds and narrow waists have traded places. You are finished with your career. Your working days are over—no more time clocks to punch or paychecks to collect. Are you with me?

Now, here are my questions: What do you see in yourself 50 years from now? What do you want to be 50 years from now? What do you really want, most of all, 50 years from now?

I think I can hear your minds working. Some of you might say, “I just want to be alive 50 years from now.” Not a bad idea. Accidents and illnesses are part of mortality, which means that some of you won’t be here 50 years from now. But most of you will. So plan for the rule, not the exception. Some of you see fame or fortune in your future. And most of you want families.

If Sister Nelson were here, I would invite her to stand beside me. As you know, man is not without the woman in the Lord.1 Perhaps our being together could help you in your planning and achieving what you want to become. The title of my message tonight is “Faith and Families.” Purposely, I have listed faith first. That has always been the lodestar for our married life: to have faith to seek first the kingdom of God. We have learned that unshakable faith in the Lord enriches married life and love. Faith in Him increases one’s very capacity to love, both quantitatively and qualitatively.

More than 50 years ago we were young adults, as you are now. This photograph was taken at that time. We were both university students. [A photograph of them as a young couple was shown.] I was a sophomore premedical student; she was a freshman on a scholarship. We were very much in love. I think you can sense that in the photo. Brethren, you can’t blame me for being in love with her, can you?

Thank you for showing the photo. We really don’t look like that anymore. But to me, Sister Nelson is now even more beautiful!

My career as a doctor of medicine has been completed. All of my many surgical operations have been done. Likewise, Sister Nelson has had extremely demanding responsibilities as a mother of 10 children. I forgot to mention that our first nine children were all little girls. Our home was like a girls’ dormitory, until our one and only son came along. Poor boy! He didn’t know who his real mother was for his first couple of years.

Now Sister Nelson’s life has matured. She has taken on a less rigorous role as grandmother of our grandchildren, many of whom are here this evening. Would all members of our family please stand for a moment? I would like the cameramen to focus upon you so others can see you as well. We are blessed with 56 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren. Our newest grandchild is here—only two weeks old. Those numbers are likely to increase.

I considered showing photos of each of our 106 family members. Then I thought of the grandmother traveling in an airplane beside a stranger. Her animated conversation about her family led to her asking, “Did I show you a picture of my grandchildren?”

Her seatmate replied, “No! And thank you!”

Russell M. Nelson was a member of the Quorum of
the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
when this fireside was given on 6 February 2005.

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My dear sisters, what a tremendous opportunity is afforded me in speaking to you in this great Relief Society conference. We have listened tonight to wonderful discourses given by women of great faith and ability. I wish the presidency of the Relief Society to know that we have complete confidence in them. We appreciate them in every way. We are grateful for the theme they have chosen from the Book of Mormon, from 2 Nephi—”Encircled Eternally in the Arms of His Love” (see 2 Nephi 1:15). The women of the Relief Society are literally encircled eternally in the arms of our Lord.

In my judgment, this is the greatest women’s organization in all the world. It is a God-given creation. Joseph Smith spoke and acted as a prophet when he organized the Relief Society in 1842. At that time he said, “The organization of the Church of Christ was never perfect until the women were organized” (Sarah M. Kimball, “Early Relief Society Reminiscences,” Mar. 17, 1882, Relief Society Record, 1880–92, Archives of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 30).

Today membership in the Relief Society is somewhere around five million. It is organized in many nations and teaches in many tongues. It enfolds within its ranks all women of the Church 18 years of age and older. Among these are single young women; women who have never married; those who are widowed or divorced; those with husbands and families; those old in years, many of whom have lost their eternal companions.

A friend not of our faith once said to me, “LDS stands for Love, Devotion, Service.” What does Relief Society really stand for? What does it mean? Let me try to say something about this.

Relief Society stands for love. What a remarkable thing it is to witness the love of good women one for another. They mingle together in the bonds of love with friendship and respect for each other. This organization is actually the only resource that many women have for friendly association.

It is the natural instinct of women to reach out in love to those in distress and need. The welfare program of the Church is described as priesthood based, but it could not function without the Relief Society.

Relief Society stands for education. It is the obligation of every woman of this Church to get all the education she can. It will enlarge her life and increase her opportunities. It will provide her with marketable skills in case she needs them.

October 2006 Conference

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You are a glorious group, even a chosen generation, assembled both here in the Marriott Center at Brigham Young University and in many other locations. It is an honor for me to be with you, and I want you to know that there is nowhere else on earth I would rather be this evening.

I approach this assignment after earnest personal prayer. I seek your faith; I ask for your prayers.

As I look at you assembled here and contemplate those of you who are assembled elsewhere, my thoughts turn to your parents. For many years it was my privilege nearly every week to attend stake conferences and to be in the home of a stake president or a counselor to a stake president. Sometimes, rather interesting things would occur. There were occasions when a tiny brother or sister, not knowing that Mother and Dad had given their bedroom and their bed to a General Authority, would creep in the bedroom early in the morning and think that he or she was crawling into bed with Mother and Father—only to be amazed and confused to find that such was not the case.

On one occasion many years ago, while visiting the Indianapolis Stake, I remember President Lowe, who was with Purdue University there, saying to me, “Brother Monson, would you like to come out to my home and stay with us Saturday evening, or would you prefer to forego the 40-mile drive and stay here with my counselor in Indianapolis?”

I responded, “Well, President Lowe, it’s late at night, and, if it’s all the same to you, I’ll stay with your counselor here in Indianapolis.”

The next morning President Lowe greeted me at eight o’clock and said, “Brother Monson, you made an inspired decision.”

I asked, “How’s that?”

“Well,” he replied, “we have a son away attending the university, and our anticipation was that we, of course, would have you occupy our bedroom on Saturday evening. But, unknown to us and totally unexpectedly, our son returned home from school at two in the morning, came in the front door, walked up the stairs to our bedroom, turned on the light, and yelled, ‘Surprise!’”

I’m not certain who would have been more surprised on that occasion had I stayed with the stake president—the student or me! I think it’s rather a good thing we didn’t find out.

Thomas S. Monson was first counselor in the First Presidency of
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when this
fireside address was delivered on 6 November 2005.

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A week ago President Faust and the Young Women general presidency spoke to the young women of the Church in this tabernacle.

As I looked at that gathering of beautiful young women the question moved through my mind, “Are we rearing a generation of young men worthy of them?”

Those girls are so fresh and vibrant. They are beautiful. They are bright. They are able. They are faithful. They are virtuous. They are true. They are simply wonderful and delightful young women.

And so tonight, in this great priesthood meeting, I wish to speak to you young men, their counterpart. The title of my talk: “Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry.”

The girl you marry will take a terrible chance on you. She will give her all to the young man she marries. He will largely determine the remainder of her life. She will even surrender her name to his name.

As Adam declared in the Garden of Eden: “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. . . .

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:23­24).

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as young men holding the priesthood of God, you have a tremendous obligation toward the girl you marry. Perhaps you are not thinking much of that now. But the time isn’t far away when you will think of it, and now is the time to prepare for that most important day of your lives when you take unto yourself a wife and companion equal with you before the Lord.

President Gordon B. Hinckley April 1998 Conference

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Especially For Young Single Adults: Who, When, and Why We Marry

Speaker: John Bytheway
Event: BYU Education Week 2003
Date Given: August 18, 2003

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These five principles can help make dating a rewarding process.

From time to time, single life makes me feel like a fish in a tank watching the married world go by. Occasionally, well-meaning acquaintances might tap on the glass with a not-so-subtle question about my dating status. Others offer kindhearted but remarkably vague encouragement: “Don’t worry. If you just keep moving forward, someday …”

I readily admit that dating can bring emotional gray hairs to some of the most vibrant young single adults. Many of us have been part of conversations in which the topic of dating—even when addressed seriously—is met with a chuckle, a sigh of weariness, or a cynical remark. But it does not need to be that way. I certainly don’t have all the answers to the challenges of dating in young single adulthood, but these five principles have helped me make the most of this stage of my life.

1. Communicate clearly. Clear, sincere communication is key in any quality relationship. Becoming aware of my communication style has helped me improve my interactions with other people. Straightforward communication might include good eye contact, real interest in the other person, courtesy, and genuine smiles.

For instance, in addition to thanking a date at the end of an evening, an acquaintance of mine, Amanda, also thanks him the day after they go out. Because this is not a time when gratitude is socially obligatory, she clearly lets her date know she enjoyed their time together. I have found that when I make clear communication a priority, I can better understand my date—or whomever I’m with—and more effectively build our relationship.

2. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Early on in their relationship, my parents met at the library to study together. While they were there, my father fell asleep. My mother promptly left the library without waking him. Fortunately for my siblings and me, our mother didn’t believe that disastrous dates are indicative of the future or that relationships need always resemble a sparkling Hollywood romance. Thank heavens for a patient mother and a determined father.

I’ve known some people who tend to believe that the first date is a forecast for eternity. If the date is less than heavenly, they think either that they have failed or that their date did. What I’ve learned, however, is that most dates come and go without incident. When a bad date does happen, a hearty laugh with close friends can be top-notch medicine for the 24-hour dating flu. I am grateful for friends and family members who have reminded me that a failed date—or even a series of them—does not undermine my value as a human being and child of God.

3. Pursue a variety of activities. While some young adults might think that pursuing hobbies and networking in social circles merely divert attention from purposeful dating, these activities can be indispensable in striking a proper life balance as well as helping us meet other people.

As a graduate student in history, I have come to value variety in activities even more, given the intensity of study required. I have made an effort to attend as many ward activities as possible. In the past, I have played Frisbee weekly—not because I’m particularly good at it but because I enjoy good relationships with good people in wholesome activities.

Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915–94) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles counseled a group of young single adults to be a quality person “no matter what happened yesterday or what awaits … tomorrow.”1 While developing hobbies and talents is not often a part of “active dating time,” these activities provide some of our best resources for increasing our social interactions and enhancing the qualities about us that could make us attractive as a potential marriage partner.

Russell Stevenson, “Making the Most of Our Single Years,” Ensign, Aug 2008, 26–28

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In his address at the BYU spring 2005 commencement exercise, Elder Earl C. Tingey of the Seventy referred to an article in a recent issue of Time magazine. It states that the years from 18 to 25 have become “a distinct and separate life stage, a strange, transitional never-never land between adolescence and adulthood in which people stall for a few extra years, [postponing] … adult responsibility.” The article describes these transitional individuals as “permanent adolescents, … twentysomething Peter Pans.” 1 Putting this analysis in terms more familiar to his audience of BYU graduates and their families, Elder Tingey spoke of “the indecision some college graduates have in … accepting the responsibilities of marriage and family.” 2

This tendency to postpone adult responsibilities, including marriage and family, is surely visible among our Latter-day Saint young adults. The average age at marriage has increased in the last few decades, and the number of children born to LDS married couples has decreased. It is timely to share some concerns about some current practices in the relationships of young LDS singles in North America.

Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared from college campuses and among young adults generally. It has been replaced by something called “hanging out.” 3 You young people apparently know what this is, but I will describe it for the benefit of those of us who are middle-aged or older and otherwise uninformed. Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and young women joining together in some group activity. It is very different from dating.

For the benefit of some of you who are not middle-aged or older, I also may need to describe what dating is. Unlike hanging out, dating is not a team sport. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage in some rare and treasured cases.

What has made dating an endangered species? I am not sure, but I can see some contributing factors:

1. The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships. For example, divorce has been made legally easy, and childbearing has become unpopular. These pressures against commitments obviously serve the devil’s opposition to the Father’s plan for His children. That plan relies on covenants or commitments kept. Whatever draws us away from commitments weakens our capacity to participate in the plan. Dating involves commitments, if only for a few hours. Hanging out requires no commitments, at least not for the men if the women provide the food and shelter.

2. The leveling effect of the women’s movement has contributed to discourage dating. As women’s options have increased and some women have become more aggressive, some men have become reluctant to take traditional male initiatives, such as asking for dates, lest they be thought to qualify for the dreaded label “male chauvinist.”

3. Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.

Dallin H. Oaks, “Dating versus Hanging Out,” Ensign, Jun 2006, 10–16

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Young people, you live in tumultuous times. You have choices to make—choices with eternal consequences. But you are not left unaided in your decisions, however small or large they may be.

It has been said that history turns on small hinges, and so do people’s lives. Decisions determine destiny. That is why it is worthwhile to look ahead, to set a course, to be at least partly ready when the moment of decision comes.

One of those decisions for us to consider is this: Whom shall I marry?
Marry the Right Person

For a moment let me take you with me back to my college days. As a student at the University of Utah, I was attending a dance on campus. I was dancing with my date, a girl from West High School, when a young lady from East High School danced by with her partner. Her name was Frances Johnson, although I didn’t know it at the time. I just took one look and decided that there was a young lady I wanted to meet. But she danced away. I might never have seen her again.

About two months later I did. One day while waiting for the streetcar in Salt Lake City, I looked across the way and couldn’t believe my eyes. There was the young lady I had seen dancing across the floor. She was standing with another young lady and a young man whom I remembered from grade school days. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember his name. I had a decision to make. What should I do? I found in my heart an appreciation of the phrase: “When the time for decision arrives, the time for preparation is past.” I squared my shoulders and plunged toward my opportunity. I walked up to that young man and said, “Hello, my old friend from grade school days.”

He looked at me blankly and said, “I can’t quite remember your name.” I told him my name. He told me his name, and then he introduced me to the girl who later became my wife. That day I made a note in my student directory to call on Frances Beverly Johnson, and I did. That decision, I believe, was perhaps the most important that I have ever made.

You young people will have the responsibility to make a similar decision. You have an important responsibility in choosing not only whom you will date but also whom you will marry. President Gordon B. Hinckley admonished: “Your chances for a happy and lasting marriage will be far greater if you will date those who are active and faithful in the Church.” 1

Elder Bruce R. McConkie (1915–85) counseled: “The most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority.”

Thomas S. Monson, “Whom Shall I Marry?,” New Era, Oct 2004, 4

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